


something i thought i lost.

by hanorganaas



Series: all's fair in love and war [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's another chaotic night for Ben Solo, the son of Resistance Leader Han Solo and the dark Lady Kyla Reia but while talking to his long time friend Poe he realizes a few truths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	something i thought i lost.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poetdameron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/gifts).



> poetdameron prompted: ben/poe and “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?” :
> 
> Reminder this takes place in a verse where Leia went dark instead of Ben. [ And cause we needed some damn happiness in this verse ]

Ben’s shoulders were screaming by the time he walked to the room. Carrying an about 200 pound stubborn old man from one room to the other was an easy feat to do. He sighed sitting down on one of the soft chairs of his quarters. Rubbing his shoulders he hoped to remove some to the knots in his shoulders.

“May I help you with that?” Poe asked. Ben looked up to see Poe standing in the doorway, arms folded as he leaned against the archway. “I mean, you know give you a massage?”

“Uh I don’t know,” Ben said, oh he would love a massage, because well…he secretly admired Poe since they were children. The desire of which grew even more since the whole ordeal with his mother began. It was just….Poe was a good guy, nice, he didn’t deserve someone with so much damage.

“Come on Ben,” Poe quipped, “You’re stressed, I can help you relax.”

Maybe the feel of Poe’s hands on his shoulders would help him forget everything that was going on.

“Fine if you insist,” Ben smiled.

Poe gave a cheeky grin and walked to the back of Ben’s seat. He cracked his knuckles and started kneading into the other man’s shoulders in a vigorous motions. Already Ben could feel the tense muscles relax. It was something rare since becoming a pilot / Han Solo’s caretaker / son of a dark lady.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath letting himself drift into the rare state of relaxation. Something in the back of his mind said it would be tarnished soon. Mother could throw a surprise attack, Uncle Chewie could run in here and say his father is throwing another fit, or something could pass by the room and mock him for his rather dark mother. But being with Poe, his old friend and the only one who didn’t seem to judge him, made him forget about that.

“So what happened this time?” Poe inquired.

“Found father slumped over his desk,” Ben said with a sigh, “empty bottle of Corellian Whisky on the table. Must have had a binge from succumbing to lack of sleep. Anyway after realizing my father wasn’t dead….I carried him back to the room. Uncle Chewie could have helped though.”

“You know you could have called me,” Poe murmured, his fingers moved to a tight spot on Ben’s neck, “I would have helped you carry your old man.”

Ben sighed. The spot where Poe was pushing felt good. There was a throb before. Something sharp pressure, from the stress. The more Poe worked into the muscles the more the throb relieved into the a dull ache.

“I wouldn’t have let you,” Ben said with a sigh.

“Just like you always refuse my help when it comes to your family,” Poe grumbled quietly. Ben turned his head slightly. He noticed there was a look of sadness on the other man’s features masked by his comforting smile. He couldn’t help but wonder….why Poe was always so keen to help him instead of running. “What?”

“Nothing I was just wondering after so long….why haven’t you ran?” Ben asked, “why are you so willing to help me. Even though my mom’s a monster and my dad’s a overworked, depressed, and drunken mess.”

Poe looked away for a moment taking a deep breath. He bit his lip trying to figure out a way to figure out an answer. Ben could have used the force to get a read on him, but with the way he watched his mother fall to the darkside he was still finicky about using his gift.

But Poe seemed to quickly gather his courage. Still kneading into the tense muscles, he took a deep breath.

“Just I don’t know how you feel about the subject cause you didn’t see a loving relationship between your parents like I did,” He began. “But….I love you.”

“What?” Ben said his eyebrows widening, “Do you like….love me as a friend? Or love me love me?”

Poe just glared, humming lowly and suddenly it made sense. Ben remembered the stories Father used to tell him about his mother, from protecting her enemies, beating up people that hurt her, hugging her when she cried, the like. And when Ben really thought about it Poe did the same thing.

He remember two of them went to a Cantina and a few kriffin’ assholes cornered Ben recognizing he was the son of “Kyla Reia”. Poe ended up starting the mother of all Cantina brawls after they wouldn’t get off Ben’s back.

And not to mention, while “what” was way different than “I Know” but Ben pretty much responded in the same unconventional way as his father at the first declaration of love.

Ben was scared to use the force, but it didn’t mean he didn’t believe in it. He believed everything happened for a reason and maybe…these parallels to the once great lovestory of his father and mother was a sign to not only go for it, but give this love story the happy ending mother and father never got.

After all…with all the misery and carnage he deserved one bit of happiness.

He stood up, recluctantly but abruptly ending the massage he was receiving and faced Poe.

“So you love me love me,” Ben said with a small smile forming on his face.

“Yes,” Poe said, “I love you…”

Ben’s smile only widened as he said:

“I know.”

Poe tilted his head at that, wondering at the puzzling answer but Ben only took Poe’s hands in his own and squeezed them tight.

“It’s something my mother and father used to do when they were happy,” Ben explained, “when my father was about to be frozen in carbonite he didn’t know if it was the last time he was going to talk to her, so when mother said I love you to him for the first time….he said…I know as way of telling her…he loved her back. So after that…when one of them would say **_I love you_** the other would say _**I know**_. So when I say I know….it means I love you back…”

Poe’s smile only brightened.

“Whether it was as poeticly as that or just plain clear,” He said, “I was waiting to hear that for a long time. I know I can’t fix your family but I can at least make you happy.”

“And that’s all that matters to me,” Ben simply responded.

And with that they kissed for the first time. Being kissed by someone he adored was just as magical as his father had described it and hoped it would happen again and again. Because of the first time in a series of unforuntate events, he finally knew what it felt like to be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be afraid to Send me Prompts at
> 
> http://melindamaay.co.vu/


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